Kosher Yoghurt

I was intrigued to see a small filler item on the back page of my favourite newspaper.

"Strauss settles big class action suit on kashruth labeling of dairy products"

I am intrigued by this. I didn't know soft cheeses could end up in court together with Danone yoghurts. I am even more intrigued by the very concept of Jews producing milk turned into dairy products. What about all our Thia workers dotted around the country living in old shipping containers? What about all the foreign volunteers who come here on their own money to work in Kibbutzs around the country?

Perhaps I misunderstood. Do Orthodox Jews actually express milk themselves that gets turned into fat free tastless yoghurt? Does the container count? What about the vet?

The possibilities are endless. The concept of Orthodox jews doing a milking stint in a cowshed was too much for a Sunday morning.

Have a great week.

Busy day

My nephew and his wife came to visit Israel.

Yesterday, we took them on a tour. We covered:

• Yad LaYeled
• Swim in the Med
• Rosh Hanikra caves
• Lunch overlooking Montfort castle
• Banias waterfall
• Nimrod fortress
• Mount Hermon. 26 Deg C with patches of snow.
• Swim in the Kinneret
  
• Dinner in Ein-Gev overlooking the water
• Back home via Tiberias

They both agreed it was a wonderful day and Israel is a fantastic place.
I'm just a bit knackered this morning.

Reworking

Looking better. very minimalist. Now for the blogroll.

Hamas and a truce

I didn't read the terms that Hamas proposed. I suppose it will be an improvement on their last offer which was something on the lines of "You all go away and we will stop shooting at you."

So I've invented my own, purely imaginary terms.

• We'll swap the last 3000 Arab Christians for some serious chicken soup, a fresh set of disposables for the hospitals and some replacement car batteries. You can settle these infidels in a place of your choosing so they'll only be hated by two segments of the population.
• The tunnels from Egypt are swamped with cigarettes, car parts and Viagra. Can we go back to having them in via the border so we can collect VAT please?
• Guns and ammunition prices are at a historic low here. We want an export license.
• Now that we've shut the cinemas, it's a DVD only place. Could we have the latest releases without Hebrew only sub titles? We'll pay this time.
• We promise not to fire any more rockets if you accept that the IDF will run around the Negev occasionally shouting 'Bang'. That's a win-win situation. No mess no fuss.
• We accept that we're wrong about the toothpaste. No more Colgate though.

I don't suppose it'll work though. Some politico, somewhere will object , a committee will be formed and that will be it's fateful and inevitable end. Tomorrow, I'll think of the Israeli terms.

English in Israel

The scene:

A school in Israel. An English teacher is worried about one of her students, a boy called William. A talk is arranged

Teacher: “William, I’m worried about your progress this semester. You seem to have a different approach to English.”

William: “My fault is mine own. Fair words and kind speech are sent with flowers but canst fall on stony ground.”

Teacher: “Well… your last homework had ‘Thou clouted clapper-clawed whore-master!’ in it. I’m not sure what it means but I can’t give you any marks for it.”

William: “Poxed knaves abound and tis well that men avoid their presence.”

Teacher: “Ummm.. could you explain this phrase you used?

‘Therefore to's seemeth it a needful course’

The punctuation isn’t done the way I taught you and seemeth isn’t a word. Couldn’t you just write ‘It needs to be done.’ ”

William: “Strands of fine rules do bind men without cause. A free spirit lives in the company of the people but steps his path, unbiddin' but bold.”

Teacher: “I’m having a problem putting you forward for a five point Bagrut. The principal thinks that you might consider changing to home science or car repair. Frankly, I think you’d struggle to get two points and this won’t help you get to college.”

William: “Live thus at the point. I will not task the tasker not bend.”

Teacher: “Well, thanks for coming in. Perhaps you could try and re-read what you learnt about the past participle and come and see me again next Sunday.”

William: “Needs not the painted flourish of your praise:

Beauty is bought by judgement of the eye,

Not utter'd by base sale of chapmen's tongues:

I am less proud to hear you tell my worth

Than you much willing to be counted wise”

Teacher: “God speed Master Shakespeare.”

Me

I don't remember if I ever said what I did for a living. It's certainly the the first time in my life that I've asked someone to "Pass me the artificial anus please". If you can get close , you'll get to be the guest blogger while I'm away in May.

It can only get better

I'm running out of words to describe life in Israel. In spite of Condi's best efforts, we back where we belong.... still fighting the 1948 war.

Israel - Gaza

When I was younger, I used to build and maintain old minis. One of the jobs I dreaded was changing the rear sub frame. It was generally thoroughly rusted by the time it need changing at at least one of the bolts holding it to the chassis would be so stuck that radical measures would be called for.
After exhausting the usual, less than usual and downright stupid tricks to get the thing off eventually only oxy-acetylene would do it with all the pain involved in welding the damn thing back together.

So it is with Gaza.