More UN resolution tales, doubts and fears

What is meant by the difference between UN Security Council Resolution 678 dealing with Iraq-Kuwait which says:

Authorises Member States cooperating with the Government of Kuwait, unless Iraq on or before January 1991 fully implements as set forth in paragraph 1 above the above mentioned resolutions, to use all necessary means to uphold and implement resolution 680 ( 1990 and all subsequent resolutions and to restore international peace and security in the area.

and 1441 Paragraph 13. which says

Recalls , in that context, that the Council has repeatedly warned Iraq that it will face serious consequences as a result of its continued violations of its obligations.

One allows a full scale war and the other doesn't. One thing I am sure of though. The weapons inspectors would not have got as far as they have without a large army right next door to Iraq. I have mixed feelings as we approach this war. My father was a career RAF officer, my brother still serves and my Mother served throughout World War II ending up in Berlin where some members of the Jewish Legion rescued her from some Allies who had too much to drink. Hence her attachment to Israel which rubbed of on me. 'She who must be adored' also served in the IDF and I have spent a great deal of my life designing weapon systems. Later this year, rebellious teenager number 2 gets to join the IDF. So, no pacifists here.


All this brings me to try and explain that I am opposed to this war , not all wars, I have strong doubts about where it all might end but when the pipes start to play and the drums begin to beat, my heart is with the troops and I wish them well.

Yes, makin' mock o' uniforms that guard you while you sleep

Is cheaper than them uniforms, an' they're starvation cheap;

An' hustlin' drunken soldiers when they're goin' large a bit

Is five times better business than paradin' in full kit.


Then it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, 'ow's yer soul?"

But it's "Thin red line of 'eroes" when the drums begin to roll,

The drums begin to roll, my boys, the drums begin to roll,

O it's "Thin red line of 'eroes" when the drums begin to roll.

Kipling of course. I'm still going to be in Gan Hapaamon , Wednesday coming 9 a.m , to protest against Irwin Moskowitz who want to bring make East Jerusalem just like Hebron. Hebron in the news today. Ras el-Amud next year. Come and help stop it.

News Release

Stung by criticisms about recent press releases about the date of the forth coming attack on Iraq, IDF Intelligence announced today that from now on, all information will be released in early Modern French, in the form of quatrains similar to that used by the famous prophet Nostradamus. It is believed that providing information using anagrams, symbolism, and mythological allusions will alleviate fears expressed by the USA over blabber mouthed official spokespersons giving vital information away.


The outlook for the Northern front for example is:

Tout apres d'Haifa de Tiberius & Mirande

Grand feu du ciel en trois nuicts tombera:

Cause aduiendra bien stupende & mirande,

Bien peu apres la terre tremblera.

Brigadier General Moshe Davidikoff of the Golani Brigade hit out at the new form of intelligence briefings saying:

This is useless. It doesn’t scan properly and the rhyming is clumsy, almost 5th Grade, Anyway, a single verse is not enough, we need at least three. Chaotic, irregular, fragmentary and lacking in depth. I give it a F.

IDF High command responded on behalf of the Chief of staff with:

La grand montagne ronde de sept stades,

Apres paix, guerre, faim, inodation,

Roulera loin abismant grands contrades,

Mesmes antiques, & grands fondation.

When asked to clarify on this and when the IDF expected the attack on Iraq to start , Nilli Ecershome, press spokesperson replied:

Le parc enclien grande calamité,

Par l'Ikea & Azrieli fera:

Le feu en nef peste & captiuité,

Mercure en l'Arc Saturne fenera

The French representative for Canal Plus translated that as a request for directions to the nearest shopping mall and the briefing terminated at that point. Later, the National Religious Party condemned the change saying ‘There is plenty of precedent in Torah for issuing dire predictions of war, doom and the end of the world. They should use the examples set by Job and Isaiah in Hebrew rather than some frog eating anti semite.’

The World's most stupid security measure

One week left to help find the World's most stupid security measure.

Global competition will identify absurd and pointless security requirements
Privacy International
11th February 2003

Embargo: Immediate release
The human rights watchdog Privacy International has launched a competition
to discover the world's most pointless, intrusive, annoying and
self-serving security measures.


It has become a global menace. From the nightclub in Berlin that demands
the home address of its patrons, to the phone company in Britain that won't
let anyone pay more than twenty pounds a month from a bank account, the
world has become infested with bumptious administrators competing to hinder
or harass us. And often for no good reason whatever.

My personal favourite is the Canadian policeman who was allowed to take his gun and 20 rounds on a USA bound flight but had his toe nail clippers taken away from him.

Blog of the Day

Another Anglo Israeli blog and female. Thanks to Israeli Guy for the link.

A clear and present danger.

No, not Iraq. The Herald Tribune has this article by Larry Collins, co-author with Dominique Lapierre of O Jerusalem, one of the better books of the battle for Jerusalem in 1948.
He states:

A year ago Shimon Peres and senior Israeli Army intelligence officers estimated that the Hezbollah already had 8,000 of the rockets in their possession. Last week, they both raised that figure to 10,000. At the time of the first estimate, I was in Lebanon working with senior UN officials keeping watch on the Hezbollah's activities. They dismissed Peres' estimate as exaggerated - but were prepared to admit that the Hezbollah could have as many as 5,000 of the new rockets. Today? They might well raise that estimate to between 7,000 and 7,500.

and

Last summer the thinkers at the Begin Sadat Institute of Strategic Studies at Bar Ilan University in Tel Aviv published a little noticed paper noting that it was Syria, not Iraq, that possessed the most sophisticated chemical and biological weaponry in the Middle East. A fortnight ago, a senior Israeli confirmed to me that this is indeed true.
The Syrians don't have a sophisticated delivery system to hurl such weapons at Israel, but they don't need one. They live right next door.

Want to fight Iraq? Wrong war, wrong time, wrong place. I am much more concerned about the Fajr-3 and Fajr-4 that by anything Saddam might have.
Tel Avivians may relax. It can't reach that far. It's only us Northerners who'll get it in the neck.

EU Pig stories don't fly

For those of you who were fooled by the EU demands pigs to have toys to play with story that was so rampant a while ago, the real story is that:

As part of the EU’s commitment to animal welfare, two recent directives require that pigs have permanent access to materials which enable proper investigation and manipulation activities – an important behavioural need. Examples of such materials given in the directives are straw, hay, wood, sawdust, mushroom compost. While farmers are not obliged to use only these materials, there is no mention whatsoever of ‘toys’ in the legislation.

So, no jail terms for offenders there. No hatchet faced EU bureaucrats chuckling as they demolish rural English farmhouses, selling the family into eternal slavery while locking up the perpetrators in tiny rat infested cells and forcing red hot metal splinters under their fingernails.

Nicely toasted is the blog of the day.'Nicely toasted is a personal webspace. It exists only to please its owner and serves no other discernible purpose.' Worth reading.

Evil OverLord - rules

When I saw Flash Gordon the film, , I had a sneaking admiration for Ming the Merciless. He seemed to have quite a good time and wasn't all that evil. Well, the rules of being an evil Overlord are written down for all time in this delightful website.


Some of the 100 rules there make a great deal of sense. For example:

My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

and

When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."

also

One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.

Now it seems to me that the quality of evil dictators is not what it was. Now Turkmenistan President Saparmurat Niyazov shows some promise by renaming the first month of the year after himself, but where's the mass slaughter of innocents? Where's the dedicated army of mindless soldiers?


The various juntas and Generals who rule Burma a.k.a Myanmar are doing better (see Burma Campaign)and have managed to stay off CNN for some years, a feat every Evil Overlord should emulate. Getting these companies, Texaco, Levi Strauss, Motorola. Ericsson, Pepsico, Heineken, Carlsberg, Amoco, Liz Claiborne, C&A, Triumph International, Premier Oil doing business there is quite a coup , although I'm sure they miss Pepsi and Coca Cola.


Kim Jung-Il of North Korea seems to fit the bill wonderfully well. Having being the beneficiary of the world's first inherited dictactorship, he appears to be a almost perfect Evil Overlord. Massive army, defence spending, poor peasants, and it would appear that he has such a scatalogical way of speaking that his aides don't let him talk ad-lib anywhere.


Col. Muammar Abu Minyar al-Qadhafi showed early promise in the 60's and later but has no staying power. One air raid was enough there.


President Bashar al-Asad of Syria was the number two in the inherited dictatorship stakes, but hasn't found his form yet. Apart from some ritual anti semitism, he's going out on left field. Opening Internet cafes for crying out loud. Enough to get drummed out of the 'We slaughter innocents' club.


President Robert Gabriel Mugabe spoilt it all by having elections although he did manage to nobble the opposition. We very much admire charging his main opponent with treason. A nice touch.

Four alternative ways to peace.

Bitter lemons concentrates on alternative ways to peace in Israel.


Yossi Alpher suggest two 'roadmaps' and get them to merge.

Ghassan Khatib wants parity and compromise.

Qadura Fares points out that hope that it is possible must be restored.

Efraim Inbar looks to Jericho as a model.



Can anyone tell me why Jericho is different from Nablus or Hebron?

My oddest email yet

Hello, I did a search in Google, for "coffee bean distributors", and your site and e-mail was presented. I am looking to purchase wholesale, green coffee beans. If this e-mail address for you is correct for the search/list and you selll wholesale, green coffee beans, would you please advise me of your wholesale, bulk pricinging(sic)? If the Google search and list of your site was incorrect for my request, please disregard this request for information to you. Sincerely,

I think not.

Blog of the Day

The Belgravia Dispatch is the blog of the day. I would like to apologise to 'Belgravia' for the drunken antics of my countrymen. I suppose offering to buy him a beer is entirely misplaced.

More lesser known Churchill quotes

Churchill really knew how to put it into words. Below are extracts from a speech he gave at Harvard in 1943.

The price of greatness is responsibility. If the people of the United States had continued in a mediocre station, struggling with the wilderness, absorbed in their own affairs, and a factor of no consequence in the movement of the world, they might have remained forgotten and undisturbed beyond their protecting oceans: but one cannot rise to be in many ways the leading community in the civilised world without being involved in its problems, without being convulsed by its agonies and inspired by its causes.


If this has been proved in the past, as it has been, it will become indisputable in the future. The people of the United States cannot escape world responsibility. Although we live in a period so tumultuous that little can be predicted, we may be quite sure that this process will be intensified with every forward step the United States make in wealth and in power. Not only are the responsibilities of this great Republic growing, but the world over which they range is itself contracting in relation to our powers of locomotion at a positively alarming rate.

We do not war primarily with races as such. Tyranny is our foe, whatever trappings or disguise it wears, whatever language it speaks, be it external or internal, we must forever be on our guard, ever mobilised, ever vigilant, always ready to spring at its throat. In all this, we march together. Not only do we march and strive shoulder to shoulder at this moment under the fire of the enemy on the fields of war or in the air, but also in those realms of thought which are consecrated to the rights and the dignity of man.

Lastly, he also quotes Roosevelt, presumably on the future United Nations.

He reminded us that if we, the English-Speaking Peoples are together, nothing is impossible. He supported the concept of an effective international organization, but implored us not to pass along the defense of our lives and liberties "until we are quite sure [it] will give us an equally solid guarantee."

Interesting. He was looking to the future, and the responsibilty that the USA will have to take on. Use it wisely please.

Blog of the day

Blog monger is the blog of the day. All a WarBooger needs to keep up to date.If anyone has any recommendations, email me please. I'm running short of time to look for new blogs. Blogs by woman get preference here. They are under represented in the blogsphere.

Quotes I don't expect to see anytime soon

G.W.Bush. "Guess I had a few too many last night with my good friend Gerhard Schroeder".

Bill Clinton. "I think I'm gay."

Tony Blair. "It's time to bring socialism back onto the agenda."

Saddam Hussein. "I'm retiring to run an orphanage for Iraqi children"

President Chirac. "I was wrong"

Glenn Reynolds: "Nobody really likes techno music". - from -Mac Thomason

Azmi Bishara: "Kol od balayvav..." - from the Head Heeb(translation requests to Jonathon please)

If you feel like adding one, put it in the comments and I'll add it to the post with your name and a link if wanted.

Against the War Part II.

Democracy for Iraq:



Imagine, for example, the laborious process of bringing democracy to Iraq. Would the West really accept a Islamic party winning? Not the Justice and Development Party of Turkey say, but an Iranian backed Clerical Party. The West and the USA would have to swallow hard and accept or , like Algeria, 'We didn't mean you guys'.



The USA says it will run Iraq with a military government until elections can be held. This is imposed democracy, has never been tried before and is certain to fail, The most enthusiastic supporter of democracy will always resent it being imposed at the point of a gun. At some, point, US troops will end up shooting someone they shouldn’t, probably as an accident in a crowd situation and local feelings will erupt.


Comparisons to post war Japan and Germany miss the main point. Both those countries had functioning parliamentary systems before the war and militant takeovers by war enthusiasts. All the occupying forces did was to pick it up and put it back on the rails. In the case of Germany and Japan, the civil service was essentially intact and available for use. Denazification never seriously worked. In a large number of cases, membership of the local Nazi party came with the job rather than the other way around. In Japan, they carried on doing it much the same as before with a new constitution and the same boss.
How happy will the local Iraqi be when he sees the local Baathaist hospital administrator carry on with his job?



There is a reason why democracy has not flourished in Islamic countries with the exception of perhaps Iran. Islam can be seen as an all-embracing way of life, including the relationship between those who rule and those who are ruled. Democracy in the western form has no place.



The democratic system in Iraq will have to be built from the ground up and a whole generation educated. Will the USA really have the courage to keep several divisions of troops there, perhaps for 10-15 years? I doubt it.



Temptations



Just think of the temptation. There you are, Commander in Chief of the most powerful military on the globe, with a victorious army in the heart of Iraq. Right next door is Syria and Iran, two more founder members of the Axis of Evil. I know what Paul Wolfowitz
will be whispering in his ear. ‘Go for it, Syria next. Crap army, no functional air force any more’.
Will he just say no? Or how about Iran, long the bugbear of all Presidents since Carter? How wonderful to go down in history as the hostage avenger. How nice to bring that mad mullah to justice, the one who cackled as he sifted through the charred bodies at the site where the rescue helicopters crashed. Thinks of all that oil and natural gas as well.


Then there's all that oil and a large bill to pay as well. How tempting to say 'Look, we liberated you. There will be a small charge , easy payments over 10 years. How will that go down? Will the Iraqis get a vote on that?



Kurds


If there is one place I would not like to go with an army, it is there. A formula that satisfies both Turkey and the Kurds and the Turkomen would be wonderful but, again, is a pipe dream. There is going to be a loser in the region of Iran and it will probably be the Kurds yet again. Regional autonomy would be too much for an already suspicious Turkey. Anything less would be yet another betrayal of the Kurds and a repeat of The Treaty of Sèvres which gave them a state, only to see it taken away by the Treaty of Lausanne some three years later. Turkey has killed some 25,000 to 30,000 Kurds. Iraq disposed of another 200,000. Iran jumped on them with both feet in 1979.
Using US troops as an arbitrator in what could be a regional civil war based on the oil fields of the North will be unpleasant. Iran, Turkey have both repressed the Kurds in the most brutal way possible, The USA may do it with smiles and flowers but it’s time they were given a state of their own.

Currently, the Kurds own a northern oil field. Just what will the USA have to pay to get it back?



The voice on the street.



Currently , this war is unpopular. The demonstrations against the first Gulf War were tiny compared to this. The resentment that this war will generate will be hard to shake off. The damage to USA-European relations will take some time to mind. The 'New Europeans' of the former Soviet bloc are not a replacement for Germany and France. Talking of rebasing troops further East is sure to make the Russian bear even more nervous than he already is.



Economy


The USA is a wealthy country but the costs of running a country of 27 Million people are enormous. Starting a war in a recession and a large budget deficit does not seem wise.The cost of all wars has been under estimated before they start and this one will be no exception. This will be the most expensive war for the USA since Vietnam, for an outcome just as risky. The taxpayers of the USA and Uk will have to take most of the strain. I do not belive that the risks of leaving Saddam in power justify the costs involved.



Summary


Some readers may dismiss these as old, tired arguments. That the argument for war is just as strong, if not stronger. I almost agreed at one point. We are moving into an ever more uncertain future, fighting demons that can be caged, not killed. There is no compelling case for attacking Iraq for regime change. It's the equivalent to tossing dice with whole nations at stake.

Comments

I finally have comments that should work. We'll see.

Audio blog of the day

For those who haven't had the pleasure of reading This Normal Life, there is an audio program as well on the Jerusalem Post web site . It's well worth listening to. Brian is a very thoughtful man.

Bomb in Haifa

A bomb has exploded in Haifa not far from where I work. I can hear the ambulances chasing up the hill from here. No other details. The mobile phone network is jammed already.

Why the war in Iraq is wrong. -Part I

My objections to the forth-coming war in Iraq are many and varied. It will interesting to see the name that eventually gets used to describe it. I don’t think Gulf War II works anymore.

Principle



My first and main objection is that is any country or alliance of countries that strongly objects to the behaviour of another country on principle should apply those principles evenly. The USA and to a lesser extent, the UK, were perfectly happy to let Saddam start a war against Iraq and use WMD. It wasn’t until Saddam made the big mistake of invading Kuwait that this was seen in hindsight as a bad thing as well. If one mad bad dictator then all mad, bad dictators. There are plenty to choose from after all.



If there is any forum for authorising war, then it must be the UN. WarBoogers who reject the UN and parade it’s sins should work for reform rather than just ignore it. There are plenty of countries that would love to have a go at their neighbour and a weak UN would be a green light. ‘If the USA can do it , then why can’t we’? It’s true that there have been many resolutions preceding this war and jurists will argue for decades over the language but these niceties will be ignored.



The USA has an unhappy history when it comes to regime change. What might have seemed like a good idea at the time nearly always turns out for the worse. The search for a President of South Vietnam that would actually concentrate on the war rather than survival was fruitless. President Johnson once likened an RVN President to Winston Churchill. I am speechless at such a comparison. The Shah of Iran, old Pineappleface in Panama, all clients of the USA at one point in their lives.



If the possession of WMD’s is a reason for war, coupled with the above, then Pakistan is ripe for a visit by the 82nd airborne. So is Israel, India and North Korea. The reason that there isn’t a clamour for these countries to rid themselves of WMD’s is because the general expectation of their use is low and MAD applies to India and Pakistan. Israel is seen as a ‘special case’. Does that mean the world would be happy if the Kurds has a few nuclear devices? Might increase their chances of getting their own country at long last.



Israel



It has been said in Israel , many times, that overthrowing Saddam Hussein will lead to a new order in the Middle East , a democratic Palestinian Authority, a end to terrorism and free beer. (I made that last bit up). What nonsense. This is the wishful thinking of a 5 year old dreaming of what she might get for her birthday. ‘Yes, Mummy will buy me a pony’. Nobody has explained how this might actually happen.
Imagine, if you can (I can’t), for a moment, a Middle East where all the countries have a functioning democracy. Will they then, instantly love Israel? Will they say, ‘We understand, defeat terrorism first and talk later?’ Will they open trade missions, invite Bezeq to quote for a mobile phone network upgrade? No, instead, there will be several democratic legislatures; all clamouring for ‘something to be done’ and the world will have to listen harder.
How about Israel's worst nightmare? A referendum on the future of Israel/West Bank/Gaza with everyone getting a vote. Feeling confident about that then are you?


All of Israel’s wars since independence have had negative outcomes in the end. The six day war may have brought Jerusalem back but it’s legacy still kills some 35 years later. We may have the Western wall, but we also got 3 million Palestinian Arabs to live with.
The 1982 Sharon war in Lebanon was productive on body bags but failed to make Lebanon an easier place to live next door to. The Yom Kippur war brought a peace at a price Israel didn’t have to pay. It was there, on the table before 1973. You could say that Gulf War I brought us Oslo and everything that came with it.

Sisyphus Shrugged is the blog of the day. I'm not quite sure why though.

Thoughts on Weapons of Mass Destruction

A recent Herald Tribune article by Julian Lindley French Herald Tribune article by Julian Lindley French had me amused. He stated:

Sadly, most of Europe has been on a strategic vacation for the past 12 years, in a world in which ever more dangerous people are getting their hands on ever more dangerous weapons. It is a vacation that Europeans can ill afford.

I was amused because exactly the opposite is true. Back in 2001, the USA refused to join up with the rest of the world in an enforcement regime of the 1972 Biological Weapons Convention. They reasons given were many and can be summarized as:.

They won’t work

Bureaucratic burden on companies

The USA constitution does not allow searches without a warrant

Could be used as a cover for commercial espionage

Congress wouldn’t approve.

.



The message was clear. The USA doesn’t believe in international efforts to rid the world of biological weapons. If it does have an approach to deal with this then it is not clear to me. Around 17 countries are believed to have developed biological weapons for offensive use (including Burma, my personal bete-noire). Whilst the inspection regime proposed was flawed, it surely was better than the nothing that the USA currently supports..


I see a clear and present danger here. Recently India and Pakistan have acquired and publicly acknowledged the possession of nuclear weapons. There hasn’t been any discussion on whether this is a situation that will be allowed to continue. Currently, three proposed Chapter VII resolutions on this have been quietly shelved at the behest of the USA who says it is ‘working behind the scenes to resolve the problem’.

The USA has signed the CTBT (Comprehensive test ban treaty). Can anyone explain why Congress hasn’t ratified it?



The world get a conflicting message from the USA. Go ahead, develop WDM all you want, don’t rock the boat, be on our side and we’ll turn a blind eye.
Isn't that what the world did with Saddam?

Concerts I wished I had seen

I really, really wished I could have seen this one.

The first Vienna Vegetable Orchestra will be performing at the Purcell Room, London, on 18 and 19 February. On a variety of vegetable instruments including carrot flutes, celery bongos and a pumpkin drum, nine musicians and one cook will perform a menu of traditional African, classical European and electronic music…As the concert progresses, the instruments are gradually thrown into a large cooking pot and the finale is a large bowl of soup.

Thanks are due to Private Eye for the information.

NathanNewman.org - News and Views is the blog of the day. I find it hard to believe that the NSA would bug Security Council members.

Blog of the Day

Public Nuisance is the blog of the day. From The Talking Dog again.

Thought for the day

From David Thomson – Europe Since Napoleon - 1951



On minorities after 1918 – Locarno

… important because the minorities were so large and mainly minorities of former enemy nations. Thus three million Germans remained in the Sudetenland within the borders of Czechoslovakia, about a million lived in Poland; over half a million in Yugoslavia. Some 700,00 Magyars were left in Czechoslovakia; one and a half million in Rumanian nearly half a million in Yugoslavia. Rumania’s inhabitants included, in various areas, more than half a million. Smaller but considerable numbers remained on the other side of the frontiers: Germany included small Polish minorities, Austria some thousands of Czechs and Slovaks and Hungary large numbers of Germans, Slovaks, Croats and Rumanians. In all, Jews formed an important community. Attempts to exchange minorities or transfer them voluntarily were not encouraging. In 1923, limited exchanges were carried out between Greece and Bulgaria, but while most of the Greeks of Bulgaria emigrated, only half on the Bulgars of Greece moved in the other direction. A compulsory exchange between Greece and Turkey attempted in the same year was so confused with the existing problem of Greeks who had fled from turkey as refugees and with policies of indiscriminate expulsions that it cause immense hardship and suffering. It is doubtful whether transfer of population can ever be voluntary or devoid of hardship.

It is even doubtful whether they lead to that radical solution of international disputes which they purport to achieve.

There are some international ‘problems ‘ to which there is no’solution’, if generosity and civilized behaviour are to be ruled out of national policies.

There is a similarity today in Israel. The majority of Israelis fervently wish that the Arabs of the West bank would go away. I do not include the Gaza population in this. as the maintenance of the settlements there is an act of stupidity and hubris which my great grand children will have to pay for.

The proponents of 'population exchange' in Israel frequently quote the Turkish - Greek exchange as an example of how it should be done.It must not even start.
Now we are in the end game of Israeli politics. There is no one left to blame. If Israel, by a de facto occupation cannot ‘stop’ terrorism, then no other alternative is acceptable and Israel will slowly, but surely, sink under the weight of a Jewish minority governing an Arab majority who, in ten years time, can demand and possible get a vote on the future of this country. The Jews of Israel lose whatever happens.I am a political prisoner of Hamas.

I love Usenet. One famous quote that sums it up is:

"Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhoea -- massive, difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it." -- Gene Spafford, 1992

When I started at $Workplace$ -1, one of my tasks was to write database code. The confidence the PHBs (Pointy Haired Bosses) had in my abilities was touching but misplaced as I had never done something like this before. Well, probably they couldn't afford a real database programmer. Problems erupted right from the beginning of course but the very existence of 'news:microsoft.public.sql*' was reassuring. I could post a well thought out question and generally expect to get a reply from a well informed stranger that took his or her time to answer what were embarrassingly simple questions. These are available for all time from the excellent google groups search.

I later discovered such gems as 'news:alt.humor.best-of-usenet' and 'news:comp.risks' all of which are great fun and informative. 'news:soc.history.what-if' is a good read with some genuine original posts from time to time. If you get your news feed connected and run your favourite usenet reader, try 'news:alt.2eggs.sausage.beans.tomatoes.2toast.largetea.cheerslove'. Just the place for a chat over a large breakfast.

My daily read is news.admin.net-abuse.email. That one has a lot of jargon but is just the place to read about spammers and fighting spam. This is where Goodwins' law originated of which more another time.

Blog of the Day

Mari Wood is the blog of the day. She is a Jane of All Trades, an adjunct instructor of composition, freelance web designer, distance educator, returning graduate student, child care advocate, struggling writer, wife and still-breastfeeding mother.


I wish I could do that.

Blogger

Well, I'm not spending any more time on editing the template, only for blogger to replace 'href="<... ' with 'href=><'.
I'll wait till they fix it.

Blessed are the Peacemakers

Winston Churchill said this on the death of Neville Chamberlain:

It fell to Neville Chamberlain in one of the supreme crises of the world to be contradicted by events, to be disappointed in his hopes, and to be deceived and cheated by a wicked man. But what were these hopes in which he was disappointed? What were these wishes in which he was frustrated? What was that faith that was abused? They were surely among the most noble and benevolent instincts of the human heart-the love of peace, the toil for peace, the strife for peace, the pursuit of peace, even at great peril, and certainly to the utter disdain of popularity or clamour. Whatever else history may or may not say about these terrible, tremendous years, we can be sure that Neville Chamberlain acted with perfect sincerity according to his lights and strove to the utmost of his capacity and authority, which were powerful, to save the world from the awful, devastating struggle in which we are now engaged. This alone will stand him in good stead as far as what is called the verdict of history is concerned.

Think once, think twice and think again.

Blogger

Well, blogger has been flaky for the last 30 hours or so. I foolishly tried putting in google search and all I got was a badly chewed template. Must back up before changing next time. Comments should be working properly as well. Please test if you read this. Ta.

Moledet/ National Union

On their web site, Moledet , one of the smaller factions in the new government, says:

1. Government Decision: declaring the Palestinian Authority an Enemy.

2. Military Action: Destroy Terror infrastructure by removing all terrorists, weapons and bomb factories from Judea, Samaria & Gaza.

3. Nullify the Oslo Accords and dismantle the Palestinian Authority.

4. Following the cessation of hostilities, negotiations will commence under international auspices to solve the refugee problem through their relocation to Arab countries and the dismantling of refugee camps.

5. Acceptance of two countries for two people on two sides of the Jordan:

the Jordanian – Palestinian state with Amman as its capital, and the Jewish state with Jerusalem as its capital.

6. Arabs remaining in Judea, Samaria & Gaza become citizens of the Jordanian – Palestinian state.

Arab Palestinians holding Israeli Citizenship will be offered alternate citizenship in the Jordanian Palestinian state.

7. If the Arabs of Judea, Samaria & Gaza breach the terms of this plan, they will be expelled to their state on the other side of the Jordan River.

Now do they really think this could work? How can Shinui work with them to do, well, anything?
The web site of the National Union and Tkuma (Hebrew) is down at the moment. Has been for some time. Not a fish is happy with the new Shinui ministers. So am I. I just can't see how they can all agree on anything.

What if it's all not for real

I woke up from a dream. As I have Blogger Pro now, when a nice post pops into the echoing space where my brain lived before all the neurons leaked out, I put into into drafts. Then it's there to fill up an empty day. In my dream I was writing a wonderfully yummy Perl script to automate the process. Then I thought, why not take the process one stage further and write a script to generate the text as well. Consider Goggle News. They have software that scans all the news sources, collates the results and presents it on a nicely formatted web page. Take that one step beyond and the script could write a comment on a story of the day.Sounds neat doesn't it?
Then have you thought that perhaps someone has done it already? That favourite blog you read could be a semi intelligent bot with good text parsing capability?
Scary stuff. I ran through all the ones I have links for. I was wondering if Emily is for real. Of course she is. What about Andrew Sullivan. Has anyone actually met him? I know Imshin is real.
I shall post more on this when I have done some research.

After all, if someone can write a script to generate a blog, I'm sure I could write one to recognise it.

Blog of the day

The buzz machine is the blog of the day. Nice one.

Much ado about a lot

There is just so much to post about, I hardly know where to begin. I will mention, in passing, the two ladies who I stopped and helped to change a wheel this morning. Please don't drive on that silly little emergency only spare wheel. Go buy a real one. I hope they get to the University OK.

England's sword has an fascinating piece on the trial of a Muslim cleric in England. Apparently the jurors were to be excused if they were Jewish or Hindu. That's a slap in the face for 'twelve impartial people'. So Christians, Seventh Day Adventists and agnostics are OK then. What rubbish.

The Politech mailing list which I subscribe to has a piece today about a new argument between the US customs and EU officials. Apparently:

- by legal statute (title 49, United States Code, section 44909(c)(3)) and
its implementing (interim) regulations (title 19, Code of Federal
Regulations, section 122.49b), air carriers operating passenger flights in
foreign air transportation to, from or through the United States, must
provide Customs with electronic access to PNR data contained in the
automated reservation/ departure control systems ("reservation systems");

Hence the problem. Customs will become the 'owner' of this data. Current EU data legislation says this can't be. If you collect data , it must used for the purpose it was intended. Handing it over to another agency whenever they want is illegal. My brain tells me that there must be a way round this.

Blog of the Day

The Green[e]House effect is the blog of the day and gets blog rolled. I'm grateful as ever to the The Talking dog for these. He's doing a fine job and finding out new and different blogs.

Blogger and Google

I spy with my little eye, Google ads right above the page. I don't mind Google buying Pyra at all. If there is one thing Google is good at it is organising large amounts of information. I especially love the simple ads, context helpful and well designed. My current favourites are the new page and the extensive usenet archive available to anyone for exactly no cost at all.
Now, if it had been Microsoft, I would be writing very different words.

Israelis and time

Israelis have many qualities. One I have experienced many times is a very warm open hearted generosity and willingness to help. One less than endearing quality that a lot of Israelis also have is a certain disregard for time. I exempt our Prime Minister from this as he is famous for starting cabinet meetings when they should start. His predecessor, Barak wasn't which is suprising in an ex military man.

Recently, we expected a delivery. The man with the van said between 7-8 p.m. I won't bore you with the details but we ended up unloading at 10.30 at night. 'She Who Must Be Obeyed' has driven me to foaming fits on occasion with 'I'l be two minutes'. She once kept me waiting at Paddington station for two and a half hours. This was pre mobile days.

Most people shrug and live with it but now I can reveal why this is so. It is not because of the nature of Israelis. No, it is a little known fact that underneath Jerusalem, due to it's holy nature, there is a small neutron star some thousands of metres below the surface. This orbiting large mass has an effect on local time and the inhabitants. Israel's victory in the Yom Kippur war, when the IDF crossed the Suez canal was entirely due to an unfortunate mix up over which day was Wednesday. The inability of Saddam's modified Scud missiles to hit anything in Gulf War I wasn't due to poor engineering at all but rather the local gravity shifts.

The International House of Logorrhea

I am indebted beyond measure to The International House of Logorrhea for bringing to my attention a number of unusal words which I plan to make use of.
'Bletcherous' meaning 'having an ugly design, was surely coined with bad web sites in mind. I am indulging in cubation will be my answer when unwanted household chores are thrust on me by 'She Who Must Be Obeyed'. However, one word stands out in this wonderful list.

'Beerocracy'. 'Government by brewers or brewing interests '.
Well, who could have thought it? Either someone at some point in time, experienced a beerocracy or desired a beerocracy. The Head Heeb has a wonderful post on First-past-the-post in Israel. I read this with interest as electoral reform is surely overdue here. So, my proposal is of course 'Beerocracy'.
Cheers.

Blog of the Day

Wage Slave is the blog of the day. Some of you might be interested to read the ScoreCard of evil. It is certain than some of you will not. By the way, I'm looking for a public source of any Blair speech since he became PM that contains the word socialism. Can anyone help?

Programming and Falafel

When I came to Israel, the first thing I did was look for a job. Sounds obvious you may say, but not to an Israeli. Most people making aliyah will make for a Ulpan or language school for six months. We couldn't afford it. As my wife is a Sabra she was classed as a returnee and thus she and our family didn't get State support. No matter, C++ is the same anywhere. Trying for evening Ulpan was hard.The last two places I tried only had application forms in Russian.

I had expected things to be different but on taking my first job, found that life worked much the same in Israel as elsewhere. Apart from a strange attitude of 'we're a startup so work late', everything seemed to meld into a warm fuzzy feeling of 'I can do this'. As the applications were in English, being a native English speaker was an advantage. Not speaking Hebrew didn't seem to matter much either, everyone spoke English of sorts and some very well. As the entire place was staffed with Russian immigrants, their command of Hebrew wasn't that great either.

My trouble started when I started speaking Hebrew in public. I should have waited. Determined to at least order lunch, I practiced and memorised words. It got to the stage where I could order without stumbling. Then the day came when my tangled neurons confused the Hebrew word for 'glass' with a rather rude Arabic word. Luckily the waitress laughed it off as did the other 30 customers in the downstairs restaurant where we ate.

Since then I have been reticent to speak in public. I have called a sheroot (communal taxi) driver a fish which he didn't take kindly to. I still have problems with the Hebrew for six and seven. I'm grateful that they're not too far apart as I can live with having one extra can of beans. It's not as though I was mixing up 5 and thirty five.
Well, this is my second Israeli job and it looks like I'll be needing a third at some point.
Both have been good to me with excellent company.

Benjamin Netanyahu - A Durable Peace

On pages 347 of the English hardback edition Bibi says:

My view of an equitable and secure arrangement for the status of a Palestinian entity is based on a simple principle. The Palestinians should have all the powers to run their lives and none of the powers to threaten Israel's life. This means that the Palestinian entity should enjoy all the attributes of self government which includes its own legislature, executive, judiciary, passports, flag, education, commerce, tourism, health,police, and every other power and institution controlling the individual and collective life of Palestinians.

The on the next page he says:

These arrangements would leave the Palestinian entity with considerable powers and certainly all the ones for self government. Yet they are not compatible with the idea of self determination, which is what many normally associate with the concept of statehood. That is why when I am asked whether I will support a Palestinian State, I answer in the negative.

Could this work? If it's not a state, what is it?

Blog Of the Day

Ruminate This by Lisa English is the blog of the day. Lovely layout and good content. She gets blogrolled. Thanks to the Talking Dog for the link.

USA Boycot on all things French

The recent dispute between the USA and France/Germany over the correct course of action to be taken against Iraq has had a unfortunate side effect. A growing consumer boycott of all things French has led to an almost total dearth of French kissing, French Toast, French drapes and French fries. McDonalds staff have been instructed to tell customers that all their fries are 100% American and contain no French ingredients.

However, the greatest effect has been on French kissing. Movie customers have booed scenes in recent films where couples indulge. Anguished teenagers have flooded help lines and agony aunts pleading to be told on 'How do I do it now'? Teen magazines and online web sites have been inundated with advice columns demonstrating ways of showing affection without being thought unpatriotic. Says one tearful 15 year old from Spokane 'My boyfriend and I just learnt how to do it right and now they say we can't. It took us ages what the the braces and all. It's like, all so unfair. Just because of a stupid war someplace I never heard of. Anyway, that French guy at the UN is really neat'.

The New York Philharmonic has cancelled a upcoming series of concerts featuring Strauss and other composers due to a strike by French Horn players. They are demanding a switch to the English horn and a rewrite of the program notes. Supermarkets have reported a drop in sales of French Dressing and manufacturers are proposing calling it Spanish Dressing in thanks to Spain's committed support for military action.

A New New city council proposal to dismantle the Statue of Liberty and send it back has met with resistance though as opponents cite costs concerns for the debt laden city. An appeal for Federal funds is planned.


© Carmel Times. All rights reserved. 2003.

Blog of the Day

Ultimate Insult is the blog of the day from Tess and Mark and thanks for this link to a nice 404 page.These Weapons of Mass Destruction cannot be displayed. .

Seven Hundred years of English Cooking

There has been some debate recently over at the Group Captain's blog and others about English cooking versus American cooking. I am not qualified to comment on American cooking but I would like to recommend this book, Seven Hundred Years of English Cooking by Maxime McKendry. She is an American with a keen interest in mediaeval cooking. The foreword says:

The long but much maligned tradition of English cookery- which , to most people, including the Anglo Saxons themselves, consist mainly of steak and kidney pie, roast beef and Yorkshire pudding, fish and chips, lamb and mint sauce, tripe and onions and suet pudding - has been largely ignored or at best dismissed as too bland. This book is a triumphant vindication of seven centuries of English cooking.

A twelfth century recipe example:

Displaye that crane: Take a crane and unfolde his legges and cut of his wynges and his legges and sauce him with poudres of gynger, mustard, vynegre and salte

Somewhat on the simple side. How about this for a meal? This is what was offered to the King (Henry VII) at Horsley in Surrey in the summer of 1533.

The first course consisted of salades of damsons, artichokes, cabbage leaves, puslane and cucumbers, with which were served cold dishes of stewed sparrows, carp, capons in lemon, larded pheasants, duch, gull, brews, forced rabbit, pasty of venison from fallow deer and pear pastry. This was followed by a hot course of stork, gannet, heron, pullets, quail, partridge, fresh sturgeon, pastry of venison from red deer, chickens baked in caudle and fritters.Once these dishes were removed the third and last course was served, consisting of jelly, blacmange, apples with pistachios, pears with carraway, filberts, scraped cheese with sugar, clotted cream with sugar, quince pie, marchpane and rounded off with the customary wafers and hioppocra, the cordial of spiced wine which was the Tudor equivalent of a glass of port.

One of my own favourite puddings is Dorset Apple Cake. As a West Country man, I love this dish.
1/4 Lb of Butter or Lard
1/2 Lb flour
3 oz Sugar
1 tsp baking powder
3 hard cooking apples, finely chopped
1 Egg beaten
A little milk, scrumpy, brandy , calvados or applejack.
I little caster sugar
Rub the fat into the flour, add the other ingredients and then the apples and egg. Care must be taken to put in only just enough milk to blend the paste, because as the apples bake they will release a good deal opf the moisture in them. In Dorset, a small amount of scrumpy brandy is used (alas , illegal to make now) but Calvados or applejack will do as well. Grease a shallow baking tin, put in the mixture and bake for half an hour in a moderate oven. Turn out of the tin and dredge well with caster sugar and serve cold.

Here is a simple recipe for trifle, the Queen of English puddings.
A dessert made with cake soaked in custard with layers of peaches and slivered almonds

Ingredients:
3 pints custard
2 oblong sponge cakes (7x11 inches)
3/4 cup sherry
1 tin strawberry jam
1 large tin sliced peaches
1/2 cup toasted slivered almonds
1/2 pint cream, whipped
1/4 cup strawberries

Method:
Make 3 pints custard according to the directions on the packet.
Cut sponge cake into thin slices, then put half into 1 large or 2 smaller seving bowls.
Sprinkle with half the sherry, then spread with half the jam.
Place half the drained peach slices on top and sprinkle with half the toasted almonds.
Pour half the custard over.
Repeat layers, cover and chill.
Just before serving, top with whipped cream and strawberries.

Serves 20

The English have nothing to be ashamed about. It is true that a great deal of home cooking these days owes more to food technologists than to the garden but I remember well the reaction of my French friend when he came to live with us and ate his first English meal. 'But this is excellent!' he said in amazement. My Mother could really cook well. Her roast rabbit was always a great success except for one occasion when a guest broke a tooth on a piece of lead shot. I got quite good at skinning and gutting them.