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Texas has launched a surprise pre-emptive attack on the United States of America, claiming that it was acting in 'self defence' to prevent a takeover by 'liberal, pinko, communists faggots of the UN' a spokesman claimed this afternoon.

A heavily armed convoy of pickup trucks laden with hunting rifles and six packs of Shiner Bock beer crossed into
Louisiana at around 3 p.m. Eastern time.


"First I'm going to learn to spell Massachusetts ,' said R.T 'Bubba' Alan of Calhoun County. 'Then I'm gonna shoot it'.

"UN out of the USA and Texas out of the USA," said one unidentified Texan carefully carving a juicy steak from a
passing Democrat. 'Don't suppose you know where Al Gore lives , do you?"


Reports are coming in of another convoy travelling up to California via New Mexico and Arizona. A passing TV crew was
forced to spend several hours chewing tobacco before being released said Sheriff John Stone of the Highway patrol. The reporter and camerawoman are being treated for shock and dental staining.


A press release from a previously unknown group calling itself 'Red Neck Bastards Against the World' stated that March
23rd was open season for hunting San Francisco anti war demonstrators, gays, Democrats and anyone who eats quiche. It promised to abide by hunting quota limits (if any) and to preserve a viable breeding stock for next year.